October 31, 2008

Yes, I'm Still Alive

*sigh* haven't really felt like blogging lately. Still been crocheting though. Looks like my eldest won't be able to come home for Christmas. Too expensive. I should get to see him next summer though. Months and months from now. So, that's had me a bit depressed. I've never spent a holiday without any of my boys. He's spent a few Christmas's with his father, but that was when I was still in Bermuda and we alternated keeping him on Christmas and his birthday which is Dec. 27th. If I had him on Christmas, his father got him on his birthday, and we would switch each year. Now I'm 5,000 miles away from him, and there will be no switching. My son seems okay with it and looks forward to next year. I'm the one with separation anxiety. His brothers miss him, but I'll just make sure we have a great holiday anyway and just make the best of things.

I've been pretty busy lately with my remaining boys. I'm trying to spend less time on the computer and focus more on them and my home. I find I procrastinate a hell of a lot, and always seem to put things off until later. I'm trying to overcome that, and now if I need to do something, I do it. I don't put it off until later and keep on putting it off so it never gets done. I'm also trying to excercise more and get myself fit. After hurting my back I don't do as much as I used to. I still walk a few miles a day, but because that's normal for me, it doesn't do anything for my weight and health. I know that if I lose a few pounds my sciatica may not be as bad. So, I'll just continue to take my daily pain meds and exercise until I drop. ;-)

I'm also trying to get used to living here. Back home my boys and I were always outdoors. It was easy really. You walk outside to your porch or yard, and stay there. :-) Trips to the beach for picnics were always easy as well. My kids made friends by being outside and bumping into kids playing in the neighborhood. Here it's a bit different. They schedule play dates for one. I've never understood what a playdate was for until moving here. I used to think it was the weirdest thing I'd ever heard of! Why would you have to make an appointment for your kids to play!? I still find the thought of it funny, but I see it's how they get their kids interacting and making friends. My problem is that I'm so different from the people here that I don't click with anyone to do anything more than occasionally chat at the nursery or something. So how are my kids going to meet people? Keivy is so shy, and I'm shy as well, and this does not help things at all. I'm really hoping Keivy's father is coming out here soon. He's about as outgoing as a person can get, and he'll know what to do. :-) Gemaine my 11 yr. old is outgoing, and would spend all day outside if he could. So he's eventually made friends. We're not all like him though. :-)

Anyway, so I'm trying to take the boys out to more places in Edinburgh. The problem is we live on a top floor apt. which makes it hard to go out. I have to plan and pack things and it's such an effort to be outdoors! I guess I'm so used to living the Bermudian way, that I now have to retrain myself in a whole new lifestyle. Too bad it's taken me 3 years to decid to do something about it. That's the stupid procrastination thing I was talking about earlier. It's holding me back, and I never realized it until recently. I figure it's because I'm a perfectionist in some ways. A lot of things I'll put off doing because I don't think I'll be able to do it properly, or be as successful as I want to be.

So I guess you can say my absence is because I've been working on me. :-)

I didn't feel like writing today, and had no clue what to write, but this has all kind of flowed out of me. Who knew all this was running around my head? lol

To prove I've been crocheting, here are a few pics of some hats. I have a lot of thin yarn that's been sitting around for ages, so I came up with a few designs to use the yarn up.

Slouch hat using double knitting yarn. Seems thinner than that to me though.

I've had this sock yarn for ages! I doubled the yarn and made a beret-ish hat of some sort. ;-) Don't really like it, but atleast I used the yarn. lol

Simple beanie from some chunky yarn I've had for several months. May make a scarflette to go with it. Not for me though.

I took apart an old hat and made a slouch hat with the yarn. I love these colors!

I know this looks just like the previous hat, but it isn't. :-)

I started to stitch the hexagons together. This is the wrong side.

This is the right side. I stopped stitching because I kinda like the wrong side better. What do you think? I'm contemplating taking it out and starting over again.

I got a new hair clipper set and gave the boys a haircut before they went back to school after the recent holiday. This is the shortest Keivy's hair has ever been, and I just can't get over how different he looks! Those are his fathers ears for sure! I have to control myself and stop pulling on them before I give him a complex. lol Gemaine didn't keep still long enough for a photo, and went straight outside to play afterwards. That boy does not stop moving! :-)

I'll have to catch up on blog reading tomorrow. Time for bed! Night all.

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